So I suck at Blogging...

I am really no good at this blogging thing. I just write what is in my head...probably not how it's done. :) But, if I wrote every thought on Facebook, I would drive people crazy, right? Oh, yeah, I do kinda do that. So, anyway, you are stuck with me. My bad grammar, horrible punctuation and every flighty thought and deep intense emotion. Or..you can just skip it, and move on to something more entertaining and literate. :) Weighing heavily on my mind today is mothers and sons. Namely, me and my sons, my husband and his mother, his aunt and her son, and my uncle and my grandmother. I pause to look at each relationship...and see...the tight bond, and the deep crevice that misunderstandings, jealousy, illness, and disabilities can cause. When the parent is forever a caregiver instead of a parent..24/7 and when sometimes, the child becomes the parent. That's something most people look at from a distance and have no concept of the enormity of the emotion, struggle, exhaustion and traumatic stress it puts on those involved and the relationship. I feel sad for all those mothers that punish or worry that they aren't or won't be good moms, or that their sons somehow love them less when they become men and want to marry and love someone who will one day mother his children. I wonder, not having daughters if that dynamic exists with fathers and daughters because I lost mine and don't know my biological father except on sight. I want my sons, and future daughter in laws to know..I am here for the long haul, but to hope for their happiness, success, individuality and unconditional support. Always.

Autism

It's not a secret that my son David has Autism. It's not a secret that it is a daily struggle... for everyone. That is not to minimize what David must think of the world around him. He recently aquired a Ipad2 to install his taptotalk program to faciltate his communication, which consists of pointing and grunts without his ability to point at a picture that talk and asks for a drink. He can get and pour water himself from the fridge. But, a drink of soda requires, getting the tablet, turning it on, opening the program, touching drink then touching soda. A pain, for sure. How would you feel going through that process for just ONE request? But, I digress... So, after David goes to sleep... I begin to browse the tablet and it's apps and find myself on youtube, searching under Autism. Bad bad mistake... I found hundreds of video tapes by parents, teachers, friends and politicians concerning Autism, the causes, the empathy and the apathy. OH the apathy. I saw Kathy Gifford and her humiliation of an Autistic boy as she wrote a song about his lonliness. Disgusting, I heard Howard Stern admonish her disgustingly...as he wrote a song about her husband's infidelity. I saw the stats and science on the link between mercury and autism... THAT disgusted me. Youtube... late at night, not so much on my list of do again real soon. However, I must tell you that the IPAD youtube link enlightened me that David and I and our family are not alone in this horrific on hold pattern of self injurious behavior, frustration, lack of communication and indifference by mainstream society. I am thankful for those that support research and have their fundraisers for those afflicted but I wonder how many of them have lived in the trenches for the last 20 years. Just blogging out loud... hopefully my next entry will have a point.

Sum Sum Summer time!!

Nothing better than a cold iced coffee or tea... on the porch or laying in the hammock, reading a book while the MEN cook on the bbq. Then there is pool swimming, river tubing, gold panning and sun worshipping (remember your sunscreen) and while we are on the river subject. This WEIRD weather we have been having has made the rivers HIGH and FAST and DANGEROUS. If you are not seasoned river rafter, leave it alone for a few weeks, till the waters go down a bit.

meantime... go to Six Flags, Disneyland, or just camping :)) Take your friends and enjoy this beautiful nature loving state we call California. The spouse is out there on the P-3's protecting you from forest fires. PUT OUT YOUR CAMPING FIRES. <3 That is all the lecturing I have in me today. May God bless you today and always.

Mama Houston

All that Glitters isn't Gold

Yep, that's the lesson for today..kiddos :) If something is flashy and shiny doesn't mean it's worth anything. In actuality it's probably worth less than that old dingy tainted piece of tin you have tossed in the corner. Now, let's apply that metaphor to life. Those that flash the money around, the cars, the women, the designer label, the fancy house, 2.5 kids, one pet, and BMW in the garage doesn't make them successful or worth your time and effort. Remember to take the time to get to know the people in your life that live in the background of your life the "extras" so it were. Those people just may have something to teach you or something you've been missing in your own life. They are truly your strength. Those that encourage you from the sidelines. While we are attracted to the beautiful and famous...why don't we take the time?

definition of stupid

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Heard it a million times and yet the madness continues...

Self - Esteem

It's been said that your self esteem is like a bucket of water, full when you are born. Over the years, we poke little holes of self-doubt and others poke holes in it for us. Until some of that self-esteem leaks out over the years. You are only worth what you believe you are worth. Your worth is never determined by another's judgement of you. Live your life according to YOUR values, your beliefs, do right by others and above all LOVE yourself. If you don't..no one else will!

~Be good, Be safe

Welcome Home!

Howdy! Welcome home!
Kick off your shoes and stay awhile. I don't care if you rest your feet up on the couch or the coffee table.. I don't care if you are just here to raid the refrigerator, snag the remote control or take a nap. Sometimes you just need to go home and feel like a kid again. I am here to tell you that it's healthy and good for you to do that. Everybody needs to know there is someone there to listen, to guide, to teach and make fresh chocolate chip cookies served with ice cold milk. There needs to be somewhere in your life that you can go to get away from it all, be yourself and relax. That place is home.. and you're always welcome here! :)